Leaving today
Sunday, 1st of January 2012
During my flight back to Melbourne, I got the time to ponder about the “everlasting joy” He promised me. It was about close fellowship with the Holy Spirit.
Some time in the past, I sensed God’s presence strongly for few days, not just in the church, but in public places while doing my daily routine. It was a bit bizzare for me, cuz His presence (especially if it’s tangible) is supposedly to be in the house of God, during prayer meetings, or your devo time. I’ve prayed for this thing (i didn’t know what to call it, feeling or peace or what) to not be taken away for the rest of my life (it was so addictive i tell ya!!!). But then after few days, I couldn’t sense it anymore, I was grieving for that. God then gave me this verse :
John 16:20-22
I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.
I didn’t really understand but I kept this promise. I was waiting for that joy ever since. I don’t know what He had in mind, a joy that will never be taken away, that sounds huge! It must be something big, cuz He’s talking about everlasting joy. Everlasting. Not temporary, not once-off, but timeless joy. Whoaaaw! Very very intriguing!
Anyway, I finally got the understanding through my experiences in Indo. In that passage, He was talking about the coming of Holy Spirit, God’s Spirit with whom believers were going to have close fellowship. The disciples were mourning because Jesus was about to leave, they were not aware that God’s Spirit would be sent and that they would rejoice because of that.
Similarly, I was grieving because I wasn’t aware that God’s presence is always with me through His Spirit. I thought I was losing Him because I didn’t sense His presence. It’s not about the feeling, it’s about conviction from the truth. Doesn’t matter what I’m feeling, God’s presence is always there. The joy He talked about, was the joy of being in close fellowship with God’s Spirit who is within us, who is close to us.
When I reflected back, I remembered the sermons told about “God’s presence is there too!”. I remembered that He kept telling me in my heart that His Spirit lives in me. I remembered that His Spirit, is Spirit of love, power and self-control (God granted me the opportunity to experience each of them!). I’ve been put in situations where I was by myself and I only had Him to talk to. I was, sort of trained to be in constant fellowship with Him. All of these are pointing to this verse. By the way, the joy was also included in the package. I was not aware until someone told me that I can still smile despite of my problems. That was totally the work of the Spirit that I was able to endure, really.
It is supposedly to be an everlasting joy, because He never leaves us. How can we not rejoice being close to God who loves us (He is truly the source of joy!). Don’t you feel happy when you spend time with people you love and who love you? The question is, are we aware of that? I found that when I focused on other things (e.g. problems, self-insufficiency, people’s judgment) I lost that awareness. But the Counselor is with me to teach me, to remind me. I thank God for this revelation and experience! And note that, I believe this is just the intro.
